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Stick, Don’t Spin: Get Your Inner Critic Out of The Driver’s Seat

Have you ever put time and effort into deciding the best path forward, setting your priorities, and deciding to move, only to find yourself derailed shortly after?

Stick, Don’t Spin! You can have anything you want… the problem comes when you don’t want any one thing long enough achieve it or you aren’t satisfied with your choice.

How can you stop spinning and — let’s be honest here — indulging your inner critic; instead practice alignment? How can you stay in this gentle-yet-powerful practice without becoming a “type-A” stereotype?

It’s easy! Here are the three steps to a Successful Stick:

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Your “Perfect Love” Is Within You…

“Perfect Love” is an illusive concept that many will say doesn’t exist.

I say “Perfect Love” DOES EXIST! And it is closer than you think, you simply need to know where to look.

This magnificent affair began for me when I was very young and grew as I moved toward my teenage years. You may doubt the ability of a teenager to find “Perfect Love” or even to recognize it when it is there. Yet, this was clearly what happened to me. It began as a fascination, an infatuation and I quickly started spending many hours exploring what felt so natural and so good to me.

No, it’s not what you think. It is music and it soon began to consume larger and larger portions of my day. I started to not only appreciate it, I began to play. My guitars come in different shapes and colors and have very different tonal characteristics. Some are made from deep rich Mahogany and others come with brighter sounding woods, like maple and alder. There is no end to the excitement I feel when I have one of them in my hands. There is also an endless possibility of unbelievably cool accessories for them, proving at every turn the abundance of the universe. Items that I can buy for my dear ones that will help them sound smoother, or deeper, look brilliant, or look softer.

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Creating Successful Relationships: Good Boundaries Invite Loving Play

How do you create the level of relationship with others you really want?

You begin with boundaries. Boundaries are often thought of as something to protect us or hold others out. But really, they are the invitation that makes spiritually adult relationships possible.

Boundaries define the field-of-play between your inner experience and your outer co-creation with others.

Good boundaries outline the borders of your field-of-play. They are an invitation. Clear, honored boundaries express how much you love, listen to, and respect yourself — and precisely reflect how much you can love, listen to, and respect others.

A clear boundary, respectfully upheld, is a game changer.

A clear boundary says, “I respect myself, I respect you — would you like to play? It’s safe and fun!”

When you encounter a clear boundary, you will feel empowered to make a choice, (Play? Don’t play? Either choice is OK…) and you are able to recognize the boundary.

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To Get What You Want Faster, You Have to Slow Down

The process of personal growth is always one of desire. When you are perfectly content, you do not feel much desire to uplevel.

Wanting something provides direction and motivation.

Wanting gets a bad rap, especially in a spiritual context — but the truth is, growth is driven by want, desire, passion. Nothing happens until you recognize a gap between where you are currently, and the skills, behaviors, experiences, or state of being where you want to be.

Once you recognize that gap, what happens next?

You want it fast! It’s the most natural thing in the world to want to navigate that gap as quickly as possible, to want to get “there” faster. And very naturally, two seemingly opposing forces come into play.

1. Getting something you want, something that you don’t have access to or aren’t experiencing now, requires change.


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Rest: An Essential Tool for Spiritually Aligned Success

When your body or your life let’s you know you need to recharge, do you listen?
Or do you push?

Do you tell yourself all the reasons why you can’t, shouldn’t, or won’t rest?

Do you wait until you are wiped out, sick, physically sore, and emotionally challenged?

You have 24 hours and maybe a family to raise, a business to run, commitments to honor.

Absolutely essential to your success in any of those endeavors is creating support for regular rest and renewal.

I’m talking actual systems and plans here! If your typical response is, “I’m fine, I’ll have a cup of coffee,” then I am willing to bet money that your body hurts and you daydream of everything just stopping for a bit.

You can create regular time for self-care, and find that just a few minutes of simple breathing, a small luxury, a sunrise habit, or a special book supports your balance and clarity.

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Somehow, Somewhere, Things Went Horribly Wrong!

You may have grown up hearing it, and if you google it, it becomes clear that it’s still a leading belief. “You can’t have success without sacrifice.”

At Success Without Sacrifice we work with clients who have sacrificed their self-care to care-take others. Who have sacrificed their authentic power to succeed at fitting in. Sacrificed their voices to be pleasing. Sacrificed their health to prove their stoic strength. In truth, they have sacrificed parts of themselves, parts of their very soul.

This is a mistake.

This is not sacrifice as a sacred surrender — as a gentle releasing that allows the ever-present Holy to flow in and bless our growth. The art of that kind of sacrifice has been largely lost.

Instead we have an understanding of sacrifice that leads Merriam’s Webster’s dictionary to list “immolation” and “victim” as synonyms! We think, essentially, that suffering brings success.

This is a mistake.

Healing — the highest form of success — does not come from cutting off valued “parts” of self. It does not come from rejecting deeply-held heart-longings in order to fit a highly-valued mask, or image, of what we need to be.

Healing comes from integrating and transcending all that we have been before. Healing comes when we find the path to MORE of who we are, not less.

How did things get so mixed up?

How did things get so mixed up? In a word, control. Put another way, we lost the understanding of sacrifice as gentle surrender, as releasing our striving for a higher vibration or a greater, more integrated vision. We misunderstand sacrifice as self-betrayal in order to fit predetermined concepts.

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Turning Your Desire To Help Into A Healing Response

When you work with your clients, do you have what you need to bring about a breakthrough? All clinicians have moments where they struggle to apply the tools of their craft in the best way for a particular client.

The good news is, you do have what you need to help your client. The seed of the healing response is hidden within the very feelings and reactions you may be struggling with.

Are you nervous about whether or not you are “good enough” to help your client? You won’t find the healing response by questioning your abilities or conveying doubt to your client. However, the very fact that you are nervous means you care. You want to help this person, in this moment, with this challenge. By going deeper into that impulse to help, you open up your resourcefulness. You and your client will meet in a very different experience.

What if you are able to see the conflict, but unsure how to facilitate an opening? Welcome to relationship! When you work with a client, you are really engaging in a complex dance. The client brings feelings, reactions, and history… and so do you!

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Short-Circuit Fear and Step Into An Empowered Mindset

Fear has a way of limiting our vision in ways we seem to get used to and accept.

Is fear sneaking around in your life? Do you find, despite your best intentions, you are holding back, waiting, or procrastinating? Have you ever thought to yourself, “I’ll be ready for that when _______________ (fill in the blank)?”

Congratulations – you’ve caught fear trying to keep everything the way it was in the past.

What could happen for you if you stopped playing small? How do you start perceiving different ways to act now?

Here’s a quick way to instantly put yourself in a powerful mindset. It works on any goal, and it gets you out of the limited thinking — the blinders — that fear has a way of sneaking on while we’re not looking.

Focus clearly on a tangible goal you want to create in your life. Let’s pretend you want to become the go-to person for live presentations on energy healing.

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